Choosing to Adopt

Choosing and Becoming Adoptive Parents

Who can adopt?
As I was reading various sites for national and international adoption, I realized that although the requirements are very similar, even very encouraging, because they emphasize that most applications are accepted. However there are two requirements that are mentioned or are implicit in any of the requirements, and I find it important to mention them and share various thoughts about it:

"Maturity, being over 18 or at least 10 years older than the child to be adopted, and
Stability emotional and economic "

In the Bible we see a particular case; that of Joseph's adoptive father of Jesus who had maturity and emotional stability (Matt 1:19). Nevertheless in an unexpected situation; his betrothed, Maria was pregnant!!!. It was a crushing fact to him because this situation was condemnable according to the law of the Jews. So neither his age nor his emotional stability were enough for it was a big dilemma to find the solution to this unexpected situation…As likely some adoptive parents go through different processes where neither maturity nor emotional stability helps.

web sites:
www.americanadoption.com/adoption requirements
www.adopt.org/who can adopt
www.adoptionnetwok.com
www.adoptuskids.com/who can adopt/foster

Becoming to Adoptive Parents

Some couples, whom have considered adoption are faced with situations of great pain, hopeless, illness, miscarriage, infertility, or under a lot of stress. Thinking that it is difficult for anyone to understand them; even among the same couple can go through divorce because of the differences in solving that situation of great distress, even Joseph thought of leaving Mary (Matthew 1:19).
Grief has seven stages and it is important to know them in order to overcome and get over these emotions in a healthy way and prepare for adoption, since the children who will be adopted may be or have gone through moments of trauma and pain and require the stability of The parents and the family environment and be able to become the family that God has planned for each one of us.

IIn the book Adopted for Life, by author Rusell Moore, in Chapter 4 entitled "Do not you want your own kids?"; Describes his situation of pain and mourning for the spontaneous abortions that his wife suffered and the possible infertility. He comments on how difficult it was to conceive the idea of adoption, since, like many people, he had the idea that he first wanted to have his own children. He writes that in the healing process of pain, fear, and confusion, there were several resources that helped him to overcome them. One of these resources is the Bible, where we find wise words inspired by the Holy Spirit who is our Comforter. Mr Moore quotes several verses where he goes deeper, one of them is Jeremiah 31:17. In meditating on the word of God, not only does he find HOPE, but his confusion and fear are transformed into the desire to BE FATHER, instead of his desire to conserve his genetic material (pag. 80). In addition to transforming those feelings that hindered him to be a father, there was something that was compelling to understand the difficulty of his situation; The author mentions that he received the visit of a couple whom he admires. This couple prays for Mr. Moore, they talk to them, they weep together for the pain they were facing and at the end again the wise, compassionate words of that person make him reflect on GOD'S WILL TO PERFECT HIS LIFE. Those words are I DO NOT KNOW WHY IT'S HAPPENING TO Y'ALL, BUT I KNOW GOD IS GOOD, AND I KNOW THAT GOD WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO CONFORM YOU INTO THE IMAGE OF CHRIST ....(pag. 94)
(BIBLIOGRAFHY
Moore Russell, Adopted for Life, Chapter 4,page 80.Published by Crossway, 2015)

Emotional intelligence in the aid of our decision-making
In the last decades, we have known more about the benefits emotional intelligence. Among the areas that can benefit our lives is decision-making and the construction of interpersonal relationships that are basic and fundamental to adoption.
Adoption agencies offer training programs for adoptive parents, many of which are related to the emotional needs of children who will be adopted, who have already suffered trauma, suffering, neglect, etc.
But how to help the future adopted children if we still can not understand, recognize, manage our emotions.
This website is simple and brief to understand the basics of what is emotional intelligence.
www.wearelifeology.com
When it comes to happiness and success in life, emotional intelligence (EQ) matters just as much as intellectual ability (IQ). And some experts will argue that it’s actually more important than IQ. Emotional intelligence is the foundation from which we build strong relationship
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand and manage our emotions. Rather than emotion driving us…we become the drivers. It’s the understanding of what motivates our behavior. Responding rather than reacting. When we understand what’s happening internally, we can then communicate effectively, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. It’s not just all about us. EQ is also understanding what’s going on in others; their emotional state. Being able to identify, empathize and engage with other people.
When we’re operating from a high EQ, everybody benefits. Our employees/coworkers, significant others, friendships, children, family, ect…

What does it mean to parent with emotional intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is “being smarter with feelings.” EQ is a powerful set of learnable skills that can help us to become more aware, make better choices, and be more purposeful in our parenting. www.6seconds.org