Gender, Sexuality & Marriage
From evolving societal perceptions of gender and sexuality and from newly adjusted legal definitions of marriage emanating from SCOTUS emerge significant complications for churches and other faith-based organizations. As a result, there has recently been a wave of attention given to addressing issues of gender, sexuality, and marriage. Largely motivated by self-preservation (understandably so) many are now devoting effort to the necessary details of precision and transparency regarding these issues. Precision and transparency are always good things, so it is unfortunate that it sometimes takes external challenges to get us to think in those terms. Nonetheless, an hour has arrived where precision and transparency are exactly what is needed.
To effectively meet the needs of the hour, a Biblical statement on gender, sexuality, and marriage should address the interrelatedness of gender, sexuality, and marriage, and it should – of course – be Biblical. It is also best, for broadest application, to positively assert these things, rather than to focus on the negative aspects of what doesn't fit the Biblical model. By positively and comprehensively asserting a Biblical model, there is little – if any – doubt left as to what does and what does not fall within Biblical norm.
Above all, in the spirit of speaking the truth in love (Eph 4:15), a statement on gender, sexuality, and marriage should be gracious and explanatory. It should not be a device intended to control behavior, but rather should help to explain what is God’s design for whole and healthy gender and sexuality expression. In so doing, such a statement should also identify God’s prescription for life and wholeness – we can make the most of a remarkable opportunity that is before us to communicate the good news of Jesus Christ to a world that is seeking identity and fulfillment.
The following is a brief statement that attempts to accomplish each of these things, and which may be useful for churches and other ministries to clarify their positions in a loving, precise, and Biblical way:
A Biblical Statement on Gender, Sexuality, and Marriage:
God created human beings distinctly as male and female (Gen 1:27). The distinctness, complementarity, and relational nature of the human race as “male and female” is based on the created order given by God when He created humanity “in His image” (Gen 1:26-27; 5:1-3; 9:6; 1 Cor 11:7; Jam 3:9; 2 Cor 3:18; Eph 4:23-24; Col 3:10), and these establish a normative connection between biological sex and gender. The created distinctness, complementarity, and relational nature also establish the basis for the marital relationship as being between one man and one woman (Gen 2:23-24; Eph 5:21-33).
The Bible affirms two options or giftings for sexual expression: monogamous marital relations between one man and one woman (Gen 1:27-28; 2:18, 21-24; Mt 19:4-6; Mk 10:5-8; 1 Cor 7:7; Heb 13:4; Eph 5:22), or sexual celibacy, if one is not in a monogamous marital relationship between one man and one woman (1 Cor 7:7; Mt 19:12). Within these two Biblical designs there can be found sexual fulfillment, whereas outside these two designs sexual expression is improper.
The Bible affirms that human sexuality is a gift to be treasured and enjoyed (Gen 2:24; Prov 5:19, 31:10; 1 Cor 7:4), as is sexual celibacy (1 Cor 7:7). The fall of humanity (Gen 3) corrupted human sexuality in both spiritual and physical ways (Rom 1:18-32, Eph 2:1-10), and one result is confusion and pain in the lives of those who struggle with brokenness regarding gender, and who struggle with the guilt of desiring sinful expressions of sexuality (Gen 3:1-7; Rom 3:9-18; 5:12-17). The Bible prescribes faith in Jesus Christ (1 Cor 15:2-3) as the remedy for guilt and as the provision for life (Rom 3:23, 6:23; Jn 3:16), and the Bible prescribes an ongoing relationship with Him as the means for a whole and fulfilling life (Jn 15:1-11, 17:3; Col 3:16; Gal 5:16-25; Rom 8:28-38). (http://www.drcone.com/2015/07/10/a-recommended-biblical-statement-on-gender-sexuality-and-marriage/)
To effectively meet the needs of the hour, a Biblical statement on gender, sexuality, and marriage should address the interrelatedness of gender, sexuality, and marriage, and it should – of course – be Biblical. It is also best, for broadest application, to positively assert these things, rather than to focus on the negative aspects of what doesn't fit the Biblical model. By positively and comprehensively asserting a Biblical model, there is little – if any – doubt left as to what does and what does not fall within Biblical norm.
Above all, in the spirit of speaking the truth in love (Eph 4:15), a statement on gender, sexuality, and marriage should be gracious and explanatory. It should not be a device intended to control behavior, but rather should help to explain what is God’s design for whole and healthy gender and sexuality expression. In so doing, such a statement should also identify God’s prescription for life and wholeness – we can make the most of a remarkable opportunity that is before us to communicate the good news of Jesus Christ to a world that is seeking identity and fulfillment.
The following is a brief statement that attempts to accomplish each of these things, and which may be useful for churches and other ministries to clarify their positions in a loving, precise, and Biblical way:
A Biblical Statement on Gender, Sexuality, and Marriage:
God created human beings distinctly as male and female (Gen 1:27). The distinctness, complementarity, and relational nature of the human race as “male and female” is based on the created order given by God when He created humanity “in His image” (Gen 1:26-27; 5:1-3; 9:6; 1 Cor 11:7; Jam 3:9; 2 Cor 3:18; Eph 4:23-24; Col 3:10), and these establish a normative connection between biological sex and gender. The created distinctness, complementarity, and relational nature also establish the basis for the marital relationship as being between one man and one woman (Gen 2:23-24; Eph 5:21-33).
The Bible affirms two options or giftings for sexual expression: monogamous marital relations between one man and one woman (Gen 1:27-28; 2:18, 21-24; Mt 19:4-6; Mk 10:5-8; 1 Cor 7:7; Heb 13:4; Eph 5:22), or sexual celibacy, if one is not in a monogamous marital relationship between one man and one woman (1 Cor 7:7; Mt 19:12). Within these two Biblical designs there can be found sexual fulfillment, whereas outside these two designs sexual expression is improper.
The Bible affirms that human sexuality is a gift to be treasured and enjoyed (Gen 2:24; Prov 5:19, 31:10; 1 Cor 7:4), as is sexual celibacy (1 Cor 7:7). The fall of humanity (Gen 3) corrupted human sexuality in both spiritual and physical ways (Rom 1:18-32, Eph 2:1-10), and one result is confusion and pain in the lives of those who struggle with brokenness regarding gender, and who struggle with the guilt of desiring sinful expressions of sexuality (Gen 3:1-7; Rom 3:9-18; 5:12-17). The Bible prescribes faith in Jesus Christ (1 Cor 15:2-3) as the remedy for guilt and as the provision for life (Rom 3:23, 6:23; Jn 3:16), and the Bible prescribes an ongoing relationship with Him as the means for a whole and fulfilling life (Jn 15:1-11, 17:3; Col 3:16; Gal 5:16-25; Rom 8:28-38). (http://www.drcone.com/2015/07/10/a-recommended-biblical-statement-on-gender-sexuality-and-marriage/)
Sexual Intimacy
Every couple, at some time in their relationship if not throughout their years together, will encounter sexual difficulties or transitional times requiring adaption, change, and flexibility. God has given us sex as a gift and it’s one to be thoroughly treasured, celebrated and enjoyed. The majority of sexual issues in marriage can be traced back to relational struggles. God designed sex to be so much more than intercourse.
There are always those who missed out on getting needed information. They do not know what normal sexual behavior between two partners is. Because of the haphazard nature of most sexual education, we cannot count on everyone growing up with the same information. Knowledge about one’s self and one’s partner is often lacking.[1]
When guilt, anger, or the lacks of self-worth are unconscious ways of avoiding sex, we will naturally not be aware of them. The way to determine if these are in operation is to observe our behavior. From that behavior we can determine whether we are needing to avoid sex. It is usually necessary to have some kind of professional help to get at an understanding of anything subconscious or unconscious, since most of us are not equipped to uncover the responses for ourselves.[2]
Some of the most common underlying causes for sexual problems are the causes have ranged from internal problems one person brought into the relationship, to relationship stresses, to a need for information. Understanding the source of the problem may provide some relief, but may not correct the problem. To correct sexual problems usually requires specific behavioral changes within a loving committed relationship.
Every couple, at some time in their relationship if not throughout their years together, will encounter sexual difficulties or transitional times requiring adaption, change, and flexibility. God has given us sex as a gift and it’s one to be thoroughly treasured, celebrated and enjoyed. The majority of sexual issues in marriage can be traced back to relational struggles. God designed sex to be so much more than intercourse.
There are always those who missed out on getting needed information. They do not know what normal sexual behavior between two partners is. Because of the haphazard nature of most sexual education, we cannot count on everyone growing up with the same information. Knowledge about one’s self and one’s partner is often lacking.[1]
When guilt, anger, or the lacks of self-worth are unconscious ways of avoiding sex, we will naturally not be aware of them. The way to determine if these are in operation is to observe our behavior. From that behavior we can determine whether we are needing to avoid sex. It is usually necessary to have some kind of professional help to get at an understanding of anything subconscious or unconscious, since most of us are not equipped to uncover the responses for ourselves.[2]
Some of the most common underlying causes for sexual problems are the causes have ranged from internal problems one person brought into the relationship, to relationship stresses, to a need for information. Understanding the source of the problem may provide some relief, but may not correct the problem. To correct sexual problems usually requires specific behavioral changes within a loving committed relationship.