Sheneka Land
Ministry With Families
Dr. Jackie Johns
Family Meals
Contemporary family life faces the on-going struggle of scheduling warm, communicative family meal times. The fast-paced lifestyles that are required to maintain involvement in secular and church activities cause us to seek meals at the drive-thru or in the frozen food department at the supermarket. It is of little wonder that obesity, health issues, and lack of emotional bonding result from lack of attention to what was once a familial tradition.
Obviously, there is to be no return to the 1950’s model of family mealtime, but families still must find means to engage each other at the dinner table. Statistics prove that children who are exposed to planned times together as a family at the dinner table are healthier and more well adjusted emotionally. As a result, the possibility of tobacco, drug, and alcohol use is greatly diminished.
The mission of the Christian family is to empower each other; that is, all family members help each other to reach his or her full potential through encouragement and support. The family must slow down, stop, and listen to one another in order to accomplish this goal. The family dinner table is an excellent site for empowerment to take place.
However, we must be aware of distractions that can hinder effective interaction between family members. First and foremost on today’s list is the cell phone. When our family eats at the dinner table; whether it be home or in a public place, my husband collects and stacks all phones in the center of the table and no one is allowed access to his or her phone until the family meal is completely over with. T.V., iPods and radios are distractions as well. While soft music playing in the background can set a relaxing tone, medium to loud music hinders important dialogue.
Even the family pet can become a distraction to meal time. It’s too easy to become sympathetic to big, brown eyes begging for food and miss the words our family members may be sharing. It’s best to lock the family pet up during meal time.
Parents must set the tone for productive family conversations. These conversations can be initiated before anyone even arrives at the dinner table. Children can be involved in the meal-planning and setting the table. Including children in planning family meals, whether at home or away, can initiate a desire for an event of togetherness. And even the dreaded tasks of clearing the table and washing dishes can become a time of shared community.
Rather than becoming distressed by the challenge of creating family mealtimes according to past traditions, maybe the modern-day family can discover new ways of creating intimate family mealtimes. Even a fast-food pickup can become an empowering family event if all are seated at a picnic table for a half-hour or so on the way to the next sporting event. Though context is important, it’s the quality of togetherness and slowing down to listen to each other that will enhance our family relationships. Slow down, stop, listen and eat!
Ministry With Families
Dr. Jackie Johns
Family Meals
Contemporary family life faces the on-going struggle of scheduling warm, communicative family meal times. The fast-paced lifestyles that are required to maintain involvement in secular and church activities cause us to seek meals at the drive-thru or in the frozen food department at the supermarket. It is of little wonder that obesity, health issues, and lack of emotional bonding result from lack of attention to what was once a familial tradition.
Obviously, there is to be no return to the 1950’s model of family mealtime, but families still must find means to engage each other at the dinner table. Statistics prove that children who are exposed to planned times together as a family at the dinner table are healthier and more well adjusted emotionally. As a result, the possibility of tobacco, drug, and alcohol use is greatly diminished.
The mission of the Christian family is to empower each other; that is, all family members help each other to reach his or her full potential through encouragement and support. The family must slow down, stop, and listen to one another in order to accomplish this goal. The family dinner table is an excellent site for empowerment to take place.
However, we must be aware of distractions that can hinder effective interaction between family members. First and foremost on today’s list is the cell phone. When our family eats at the dinner table; whether it be home or in a public place, my husband collects and stacks all phones in the center of the table and no one is allowed access to his or her phone until the family meal is completely over with. T.V., iPods and radios are distractions as well. While soft music playing in the background can set a relaxing tone, medium to loud music hinders important dialogue.
Even the family pet can become a distraction to meal time. It’s too easy to become sympathetic to big, brown eyes begging for food and miss the words our family members may be sharing. It’s best to lock the family pet up during meal time.
Parents must set the tone for productive family conversations. These conversations can be initiated before anyone even arrives at the dinner table. Children can be involved in the meal-planning and setting the table. Including children in planning family meals, whether at home or away, can initiate a desire for an event of togetherness. And even the dreaded tasks of clearing the table and washing dishes can become a time of shared community.
Rather than becoming distressed by the challenge of creating family mealtimes according to past traditions, maybe the modern-day family can discover new ways of creating intimate family mealtimes. Even a fast-food pickup can become an empowering family event if all are seated at a picnic table for a half-hour or so on the way to the next sporting event. Though context is important, it’s the quality of togetherness and slowing down to listen to each other that will enhance our family relationships. Slow down, stop, listen and eat!
So Much Activity, So Little Time For Play
Raheel Rizvi
Ephesians 5:16 reminds us to “redeem the time,” which literally means to buy back or make the most of our time. Time is a precious commodity, and we are responsible to use what time we have in a way that most honors the Lord.
Since the 1950s, we have had so many new technological innovations that we thought (or were promised) would make our lives easier, faster, and simpler. Yet, we have no more “free” or leisurely time today than we did decades ago. For some of us, the “privileged” ones, the lines between work and home have become blurred. We are on our devices. Smart phones, laptops and other devices mean that there is no division between the office and home. When the kids are in bed, we are back online.
For many, working two jobs in low-paying sectors is the only way to keep the family afloat. Many of our children are living in poverty, and too many of our parents are working minimum wage jobs just to put a roof over their head and something resembling food on the table. The old models, including that of a nuclear family with one parent working outside the home have passed away for most of us. We now have a majority of families being single families, or where both parents are working outside the home.
The problem, then, is less how much time people have than how they see it. Ever since a clock was first used to synchronize labor in the 18th century, time has been understood in relation to money. Once hours are financially quantified, people worry more about wasting, saving or using them profitably. When economies grow and incomes rise, everyone’s time becomes more valuable. And the more valuable something becomes, the scarcer it seems.
Individualistic cultures, which emphasize achievement over affiliation, help cultivate this time-is-money mindset. This creates an urgency to make every moment count, notes Harry Triandis, a social psychologist at the University of Illinois. Larger, wealthy cities, with their higher wage rates and soaring costs of living, raise the value of people’s time further still. New Yorkers are thriftier with their minutes—and more harried—than residents of Nairobi. London’s pedestrians are swifter than those in Lima. The tempo of life in rich countries is faster than that of poor countries. A fast pace leaves most people feeling rushed. “Our sense of time”, observed William James in his 1890 masterwork, “The Principles of Psychology”, “seems subject to the law of contrast.”
All this work has left less time for play. Though leisure time has increased overall, a closer look shows that most of the gains took place between the 1960s and the 1980s. Since then economists have noticed a growing “leisure gap”, with the lion’s share of spare time going to people with less education.
Leisure time is now the stuff of myth. Some are with too much. Others find it too costly to enjoy. Many spend their spare moments staring at a screen of some kind, even though doing other things (visiting friends, volunteering at a church) tends to make people happier.
Just because we are overworked, tired, over-scheduled and stressed, doesn't mean we must pass these characteristics on to our children. Time is necessary for meaningful play. When families, especially children are shuffled from one activity to the next simply because that is what the schedule says it’s time to do, no one is receiving the full benefit of the experience.
If there is not time for playing, our house of higher learning is going to crumble to the ground. Playing is the cement that holds our foundation of creating, moving, singing, discussing, observing and reading together and cement needs time to dry so the foundation can be solid and sturdy. The foundation needs to be strong because it is going to support the house. The cycle needs both components in order to complete. We must stop demanding houses where there are no foundations.
It is quite evident that play is not simply mindless, meaningless, self-amusement. Yet, as parents, we are often required to defend the value and importance of play in the lives of our families, children, community and society.
Since the 1950s, we have had so many new technological innovations that we thought (or were promised) would make our lives easier, faster, and simpler. Yet, we have no more “free” or leisurely time today than we did decades ago. For some of us, the “privileged” ones, the lines between work and home have become blurred. We are on our devices. Smart phones, laptops and other devices mean that there is no division between the office and home. When the kids are in bed, we are back online.
For many, working two jobs in low-paying sectors is the only way to keep the family afloat. Many of our children are living in poverty, and too many of our parents are working minimum wage jobs just to put a roof over their head and something resembling food on the table. The old models, including that of a nuclear family with one parent working outside the home have passed away for most of us. We now have a majority of families being single families, or where both parents are working outside the home.
The problem, then, is less how much time people have than how they see it. Ever since a clock was first used to synchronize labor in the 18th century, time has been understood in relation to money. Once hours are financially quantified, people worry more about wasting, saving or using them profitably. When economies grow and incomes rise, everyone’s time becomes more valuable. And the more valuable something becomes, the scarcer it seems.
Individualistic cultures, which emphasize achievement over affiliation, help cultivate this time-is-money mindset. This creates an urgency to make every moment count, notes Harry Triandis, a social psychologist at the University of Illinois. Larger, wealthy cities, with their higher wage rates and soaring costs of living, raise the value of people’s time further still. New Yorkers are thriftier with their minutes—and more harried—than residents of Nairobi. London’s pedestrians are swifter than those in Lima. The tempo of life in rich countries is faster than that of poor countries. A fast pace leaves most people feeling rushed. “Our sense of time”, observed William James in his 1890 masterwork, “The Principles of Psychology”, “seems subject to the law of contrast.”
All this work has left less time for play. Though leisure time has increased overall, a closer look shows that most of the gains took place between the 1960s and the 1980s. Since then economists have noticed a growing “leisure gap”, with the lion’s share of spare time going to people with less education.
Leisure time is now the stuff of myth. Some are with too much. Others find it too costly to enjoy. Many spend their spare moments staring at a screen of some kind, even though doing other things (visiting friends, volunteering at a church) tends to make people happier.
Just because we are overworked, tired, over-scheduled and stressed, doesn't mean we must pass these characteristics on to our children. Time is necessary for meaningful play. When families, especially children are shuffled from one activity to the next simply because that is what the schedule says it’s time to do, no one is receiving the full benefit of the experience.
If there is not time for playing, our house of higher learning is going to crumble to the ground. Playing is the cement that holds our foundation of creating, moving, singing, discussing, observing and reading together and cement needs time to dry so the foundation can be solid and sturdy. The foundation needs to be strong because it is going to support the house. The cycle needs both components in order to complete. We must stop demanding houses where there are no foundations.
It is quite evident that play is not simply mindless, meaningless, self-amusement. Yet, as parents, we are often required to defend the value and importance of play in the lives of our families, children, community and society.