Sheneka Land
Family Ministry
Dr. Jackie Johns
Loss of Parental Authority: When Children Are In Charge
Most any parent will admit to episodes in the parenting journey in which he
or she felt as if their child was in charge in explosive, highly-charged, emotional situations. Character development is at stake in these situations and much wisdom is needed.
Human nature presses one to be in control, whether the individual be child or adult. Though all of humankind remains in a continual state of becoming mature, a child possesses very limited amounts of maturity and cannot be left in charge of the parent/child relationship.
Children do not possess the ability to process their emotions without proper guidance from parents and significant others. Children must be taught how to use their experiences and subsequent emotions in constructive, positive ways rather than in controlling, negative ways. Our ability to help children in this area is largely dependent on how well we ourselves model healthy behavior patterns in regard to our own emotions. Therefore, it is extremely important to reflect on our own behaviors.
Children should be allowed to express their emotions, but proper parental authority will not let the child abuse others by his or her words, attitudes and actions. Respect for others must be taught, and it primarily begins when parents teach their children to respect them as authority figures; not allowing them to abuse them with fits of rage and backtalk. Sure…all parents are going to experience this to some degree, but the child’s character is corrected and formed when he or she experiences the consequences of disrespecting others in attempts to control.
Children engage in varous behaviors that often put them in charge. Some are as follows: whining and complaining, talking, yelling or interrupting when a parent is on the phone, not doing something they said they would do, name calling, borrowing things without asking, not putting things away after they have borrowed them, being late and of course, the aforementioned habit of talking back or showing disrespect.
The tired, stressed or depressed parent is tempted to cave in and not correct the child in this type of behavior dysfunction. It takes time and effort to respond in ways that develop the child’s character for the good of themselves and their future place in society. The parent empowers their child and regains parental authority when he or she teaches that child self-control and the need to esteem others above themselves (Philippians 2:3). It is imperative for children to learn that the goal in life is to love and empower others in healthy ways, rather than attaining power to “be in charge”.
Family Ministry
Dr. Jackie Johns
Loss of Parental Authority: When Children Are In Charge
Most any parent will admit to episodes in the parenting journey in which he
or she felt as if their child was in charge in explosive, highly-charged, emotional situations. Character development is at stake in these situations and much wisdom is needed.
Human nature presses one to be in control, whether the individual be child or adult. Though all of humankind remains in a continual state of becoming mature, a child possesses very limited amounts of maturity and cannot be left in charge of the parent/child relationship.
Children do not possess the ability to process their emotions without proper guidance from parents and significant others. Children must be taught how to use their experiences and subsequent emotions in constructive, positive ways rather than in controlling, negative ways. Our ability to help children in this area is largely dependent on how well we ourselves model healthy behavior patterns in regard to our own emotions. Therefore, it is extremely important to reflect on our own behaviors.
Children should be allowed to express their emotions, but proper parental authority will not let the child abuse others by his or her words, attitudes and actions. Respect for others must be taught, and it primarily begins when parents teach their children to respect them as authority figures; not allowing them to abuse them with fits of rage and backtalk. Sure…all parents are going to experience this to some degree, but the child’s character is corrected and formed when he or she experiences the consequences of disrespecting others in attempts to control.
Children engage in varous behaviors that often put them in charge. Some are as follows: whining and complaining, talking, yelling or interrupting when a parent is on the phone, not doing something they said they would do, name calling, borrowing things without asking, not putting things away after they have borrowed them, being late and of course, the aforementioned habit of talking back or showing disrespect.
The tired, stressed or depressed parent is tempted to cave in and not correct the child in this type of behavior dysfunction. It takes time and effort to respond in ways that develop the child’s character for the good of themselves and their future place in society. The parent empowers their child and regains parental authority when he or she teaches that child self-control and the need to esteem others above themselves (Philippians 2:3). It is imperative for children to learn that the goal in life is to love and empower others in healthy ways, rather than attaining power to “be in charge”.